preface

first things first.
i need to get my life in order.
i have had enough whining about what the meaning of life is for me.
i am taking it by the balls and shoving it down anyone's throat who gets in my way.
as what a good friend said, identify your goals and eliminate anything and anyone who stops you from achieving it.
so here goes.

1. financial - every time i read a money magazine it only disheartens me. i know i know. i am not getting any younger and the numbers say that every year that i leave off without considerable savings or investments will only make it so that i suffer in the future. but what's a girl got to do? i cant turn back time. neither can i lie about not wanting to be comfortable. so i have come up with a compromise. unless i hit a jackpot in the next 2 years, i am defining what comfortable means to me.
a. comfortable means being able to travel without touching my savings account. every month. not that i would be able to do it liberally. but just the option of being able to is enough for me.
b. comfortable means being able to buy a new pair of shoes every 2 weeks without cringing.
c. comfortable means being able to buy something, anything (under $100) without doing much mental calculation of how much i have left in my checking account
d. comfortable means being able to send money to my mom and tell her to just have a good time
e. comfortable means being able to take my friends out to dinner just because i want to

so how will i achieve this? i am still trying to determine that (sequel).

2. physical - i want to be all muscle. no fat. except in the boobies and the ass. i want to have the discipline to eat whatever that doesn't make me feel like crap 30 minutes after or worse, the next day. i want to look 10 years younger than my age. i want to be aesthetically pleasing for as long as i live. i want to be healthy. i don't want to limit myself when i am in my 50's to certain activities befitting my age. hell, i want to be that 70 year old lady who still runs and walks in her bikini like she owns the female shower room. yep, she looks that good for 70.

my health plan is underway :)

3. mental - they say learn a new skill everyday, try something you have never done before and start a new hobby as much as you can, to keep your mind young. a good body has to be paired with a sound mind right? it doesn't have to be something useful nor does it have to be complicated. it just has to be something that will create more neurological pathways and jolt your tired mind to excitement.

i am enrolled in Spanish classes. Si!

4. spiritual - i am a naturally happy person. i am as moody as a bipolar too. it doesn't take a lot to make me smile. or annoyed. i find joy in the simplest things. but get irritated as well at the most trivial of matters. damn it. i need therapy.
well #1 goal is going to make it hard for me to afford that, so might as well put my Psychology degree to work.
i need to learn that i cannot control people. i either have to accept them for what they are or not be with them. not that i cannot feel anything if they have wronged me or stop myself from giving a friendly unsolicited advice, but i just need to let them be. i don't have as much of a problem with friends. friends i can easily accept, but romantic interests? it's easier for me to trust a total stranger. i don't know why. like i expect so much from them because they have to match what i have envisioned them to be when they are with me. ugh. talk about dysfunctional.

well, i can analyze myself more or i can just try to be a way better person than who i am now. but how do you do that? seriously. harder than you thought it would be right.

aren't my goals achievable? yeah... let's see how this goes.